Archives

All posts for the month December, 2012

Christmas and Endo

Published December 28, 2012 by crazyinpink

First of all, to whoever happens to be reading this, I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

My Christmas was lovely, just a quiet, family affair with lots of laughter and banter.  The only downside was the pain. 

Over the last few months I’ve had trouble eating.  Around half an hour after each meal I get the most awful spasms and pain.  On my last trip to the doctor, when I actually got to see my own GP for probably the first time in 2012, he put me on a new medication to help with the digestive problems.  The medication is a sachet of powder you have to dissolve in water and drink twice a day.  It tastes absolutely disgusting and has already brought on yucky side effects.  I hardly got any sleep the night before Christmas and have still to get a full night. 

I went to my aunt and uncle’s for Christmas dinner and had to pack my electric hot water bottle to take with me.  My plate looked very dull compared to everyone else’s as I had to forgo veggies and ham.  I probably should have laid off the stuffing too but it’s my favourite part of Christmas dinner!! I spend the rest of the day curled up in an armchair hugging my hot water bottle.

It frustrates me when I can’t join in like everyone else.  At a Christmas party the weekend before the big day, I spent the entire night sitting on the sofa and staying away from the food.  I don’t like that I’m now so boring but when I find a comfy position, I have to stay there. 

 

Happily, the countdown is on! I will be going in to have my endo all cut out and I’m so excited! All being well, and dependent on there being a bed for me, I go in on the 9th January to have my op on the 10th.  Santa was very good to me and brought lots of pyjamas and socks for my stay in hospital.  I also got some boxsets to get me through my recovery time at home.

Amidst all this, I have recently gained an admirer who is taking me out for coffee tomorrow. He seems really keen and is a lovely guy. So…watch this space!

Diary of a druggie

Published December 20, 2012 by crazyinpink

Things have been a bit manic in my pink world as of late.  In keeping with the sitcom that is my life, I’ll provide updates on the various sub-plots going on.  Bear in mind that my pain has been very bad lately so I have been on quite heavy doses of my painkillers.  But, even so, things have certainly been interesting!

The One with Political Unrest

Northern Ireland, as some of you may know, has its fair share of turbulent history.  I grew up during the peace process but still, riots, bomb scares and the like are very much part of life here. Things have been relatively quiet over the last few years.  Then, the council of Belfast voted to remove the Union flag from outside the City Hall.  If you have any idea of ‘the Troubles’ you might know that this was not taken well.  Riots kicked off and disrupted everything, traffic, Christmas shopping, everything.  It has been two weeks since the flag was taken down and there are still protests every day. Some of them are peaceful and there was a wonderful prayer rally in the city on Saturday morning but my wee country still remains troubled.

The One with the Choir Drama

Rehearsals began in earnest for our Christmas concerts last week. Our first rehearsal had to be cancelled at the last minute due to aforementioned riots so we only ended up with two.  My choir buddy Ellie had been extremely anxious about returning to choir after the fiasco of her relationship with that guy from choir who turned out to be advertising on gay dating websites.  We had concocted a plan, codenamed Operation Crazy, that we would stick together and if anyone were to bring up the subject of her ex, I would immediately start acting crazy and distract them. Rehearsal One went well, all of us concentrating on sight-singing.  Rehearsal Two featured my friend not feeling well and as we held up a radiator during the break, she offered up all the dirt on her ex to a fellow choir member, even showing him the photos she still has of all the dating profiles.  The guy is a bigger gossip than most of the women so I for one was not overly surprised when barely a day later, she started getting facebook messages of a not-very-nice nature from her ex’s friends. *sigh*  The culmination of all this drama meant that she spent most of the day of the concerts complaining and saying she was never coming back. Our matinee performance was going well until she whispered to me that she didn’t feel well and was having a hypo. It was a long day of rehearsals, soundchecks and then two concerts and I had stocked up on my meds, made sure I’d eaten and had snacks to get me through and I don’t even have diabetes. Ellie was diagnosed earlier this year but as far as I can see, has not altered her lifestyle at all. She eats more takeaways and junk food than anyone I know and always has a sugary fizzy drink in her bag. She had, for some bizarre reason, not eaten so it was no wonder that at 4pm she felt rotten. As soon as the interval began, I whisked her off-stage and tried to get her to eat some chocolate buttons. She insisted on staying in the corridor and not going into any of the dressing rooms and didn’t go on for the second half. It sounds awful and I don’t mean to be bitchy but part of me thinks she stayed there so that people would see her and give her attention. After the first concert ended, we had time to go get dinner and by this stage, I was knackered and just wanted to sit down and have some hot food. Ellie was adamant that we should go to the Christmas market, outside and crazy busy, but I overruled and stated that I was off to Nandos with the others.  She eventually came round to the idea and was miraculously all better for the evening show.

The One with Graduation

I graduated from my Masters last week.  With decidedly mixed feelings.  I still haven’t quite got over the injustice of my final grade. Because of a silly little sub-rule, I graduated with an average of 71% but only received a commendation instead of a distinction because of the marker of my dissertation. I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter much but I am a perfectionist when it comes to my studies and this will annoy me for the rest of my life. I was told off by my mum for not being excited about this graduation and being too hard on myself but the excitement didn’t really kick in until the day before. Unlike my last graduation, I did this one on a budget. Did my own hair, got one of my GB girls to paint my nails and got a dress in the sales a few weeks ago, wearing a pair of ridiculously sparkly heels I got last winter.  The day went really well. It stayed dry and, bizarrely, sunny (although still cold, it is December after all). I ended up sitting next to my two friends from class in the ceremony and got a lot of cheesy photos taken after in the reception.  Then my family went out for lunch and the restaurant put  a sparkler in my ice cream sundae and gave me a box of Ferrero Rocher as a graduation gift!! I should wear gowns more often!

The One with Doctors

I’ve had several encounters with doctors recently too, on top of everything else.  My silly tummy still only lets me eat plain chicken and mashed potatoes so I returned to the doctor as instructed after trying their waste of space indigestion medication for a month. The doctor I had was barely older than me, didn’t seem to know what endometriosis was and was clearly out of his league with a complex patient like me. It was a complete waste of time. I felt such despair as I had only that morning found out that my pain doctor was so backlogged that it would be February before I could get the drug infusion I was due in September.  How on earth was I meant to get through Christmas unable to eat and spending every day in excruciating pain?!  Then the clouds parted and a crowd of heavenly host (or a nurse from the pain clinic) called out to me with good news of great joy. A cancellation! Before Christmas! So, I got my infusion on Monday!! Hit me hard since I haven’t had one since June and I’m obviously not eating as much but I feel much better already. Truly was a Christmas miracle!!

 

I have several other tales to tell, mainly about the men in my life, but I really must go wrap some presents and sing along to cheesy Christmas music.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s installment of the sitcom that is my life, tentatively titled ‘Diary of a Druggie’.

Brought to you by Tramadol – it’s awesome!

A Digital Fairytale – Part Two

Published December 6, 2012 by crazyinpink

Melody sat, trying to find the words to express this odd flirtationship she was in, but somehow failing.  Her tendency to turn everything into something funny usually worked well.  Her friends always expected gossip and amusing anecdotes about her escapades, usually involving a guy.  But this time, her story-telling was doing her a disservice.  She was giddy and excited about her romance with Edward and yet, scared of being taken in by someone she still hadn’t met.  Instead of being happy for her and encouraging her, the way she wanted them to, her friends seemed confused and assumed she couldn’t have any real feelings for this guy, it was just a bit of fun.  It had started like that.  But since that night they’d heard each other’s voices, her feelings had changed.

Talking on the phone made Ed seem more real.  She knew what he sounded like, the tone of his voice and how he laughed.  It brought all the texts and messages they had shared to life.  She longed to know him in real life, see if their virtual spark translated to reality. 

Edward wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  She knew that.  He was moody and insecure, needing constant reassurance that she still liked him.  Traits which might have put her off if they belonged to anyone else, but she was still drawn to him.  Still felt that stupid grin spread across her face when she read his latest message. Maybe because they were at a distance, they were being far more honest with each other than was usual.  For Melody at least. 

This honesty came across clearly when Edward confessed his dream of waking up every day next to her.  All he wanted in the world was Melody.  She didn’t quite know how to react to such admissions.  She was never one to initiate talks of feelings and found it difficult to express herself in such situations.  Edward, afraid that he had overstepped the mark, assumed he had scared her off when she didn’t reply straight away.  But she needed time to work out how she felt about him saying such lovely things.

She often needed to take time out from their intense communication, not only to process what was going on in this increasingly bizarre scenario, but also to live her life.  On more than one occasion she had to tell him that she couldn’t be glued to her phone all the time and reassure him that it didn’t mean she had gone off him in any way.

They were talking of visiting each other, Melody’s friends insisting she go to meet him with someone so she wasn’t alone.  She trusted Ed but knew that she had to be smart about this.  The trouble was finding someone willing to go to another country (albeit one only a quick flight away).  During the time she was thinking about this, Ed’s messages began to change slightly.  

He stopped sending hearts and his tone was slightly colder, as if he was pulling away.  Melody, not the best at negotiating relationships, asked him why. Ed had been thinking about the difficulties of a long-distance relationship and how tough it would be if they pursued it.  Melody had thought those thoughts too but had talked herself into the ‘wait and see’ school of thought. But Ed, the more pessimistic of the couple, couldn’t talk himself round.  He said they were kidding themselves that they could have something real.

Melody didn’t know how to feel.  She knew Ed was being rational and she, more than anyone else, appreciated rationality.  On the other hand, she felt a little heart-broken. She had shared a lot with him and had let herself fall head over heels for someone she had never met. Ed had fallen for her too, she knew he had. 

Agreeing to remain friends and text in a platonic, non-committal way, they continued to talk.  Both of them knowing their feelings were too strong to ignore…