I am now, to all intents and purposes, unemployed. It was only a part time job but I’ve worked there for nearly two years and I’ve always loved my job.
For some reason, I was excluded from the latest rota and when I asked why I was told that there simply isn’t enough work for everyone at the moment. Last week I begged for some hours but was again refused. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong to warrant such treatment. I am far from impressed.
As I’m a ‘glass half full’ kind of girl, I’ve decided to look on the positives.
First of all, I have more time to work on my dissertation. I sent the first chapter of it in on Monday. 6,000 words. As unbelievably geeky as it is, I quite enjoy my research and I loved weaving it together to tell a story no one has heard before.
Secondly, I will be okay financially because I know that come September I’ll be bringing in a steady salary with my PhD studentship. I’ll get paid at the end of August for the few days I worked in July so its only really the end of August and beginning of September which will be tough. But I’ll cope. I’ll cut back, no more magazines or fancy coffees. I’m not going to be a Scrooge or a hermit. I’ll still hang out with friends doing cheap things, crazy Tuesdays cinema outings with sweets from Poundland, movie nights at my house. I’ve also taken on another tutoring student so that’s a little bit extra income. I’ve arranged for my direct debit to be temporarily reduced. And, most impressively, I finally managed to chase up the prize money for an award I won in March but never received the cheque for. So, all things considered, I will manage.
Thirdly, and the most petrifying, I have been forced to do something about my confusing, stalling love life. The last month or so has been quite bewildering as I’ve found myself in a bizarre love square. The original situation was that I liked Jam and my friend, Fairy Godmother, liked his friend, Butter. I am friends with both guys, although I find it easier to talk to Butter. Then the office was buzzing with the rumour that Butter liked me. Even Fairy Godmother suggested it. The week before my operation, Butter invited me to the cinema with him and Jam. I already had plans but what an awkward situation. I have grown rather fond of Butter but I have had a crush on Jam for months so I think that I should persue that line of inquiry before even considering what to do about Butter. I’ve been telling myself that I couldn’t ‘make a move’ on Jam or even hint that I liked him as more than a friend because we work together and it would be awkward if he didn’t feel the same. That’s not really an issue anymore. So, last night, after thorough discussion, I texted Jam to tell him that I had some time to kill between researching and meeting some friends to see The Dark Knight Rises on Thursday (tomorrow) and would he fancy meeting up for a coffee or something after work. He hasn’t replied and I don’t feel very confident that it’ll be a positive outcome. But I think it’s better to find out exactly what is going on with him before addressing the Butter problem.
Finally, recovering from the operation has taken it’s toll on me. I have been so tired since. I’ve also been trying to work on my dissertation, though I have been mainly working from home but I now have to go to the archives to get some research done. One of the wounds has become infected so I’m on antibiotics and takng salt baths daily. Typical really. I have such a low immune system, I pick up infections like pennies in the street. It’s not as sore as it was but I think I’m going to have a pretty impressive scar on my belly button when it eventually heals. I’m actually quite relieved I don’t have to worry about 8 hour days in work on top of everything. There’s a lot whirring round in my brain since the operation and it’s revelations. I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to sleep (which is normally something I have a natural talent for) because I just can’t shut up my thoughts. Maybe I should take up Legilimency…